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Ways to Cope with Grief of Losing A Loved One: How The Loss of My Brother Shocked Me

My brother Christopher passed recently and I miss him dearly.

We grew up together, went to the same college, and nothing could have prepared me for the moment I found out he passed away. As I learn more about his death and talk to family and friends about it, I keep going back to a realization that this is actually real and this actually happened. My brother is deceased and I can't seem to move past that moment I learned of his death. Today stilll feels like the day I found out. My heart is aching and I feel it as odd as that sounds. I will miss you and tell the story of your life and the many lives you could have lived.

Losing someone close to you can be a stressful and difficult time. You may feel like your world is falling apart, but the truth is that people grieve differently. Some people may feel very sad at first and then get angry or numb as time goes on. Others experience more intense emotions at first but eventually find their way back to happiness again. It's normal to experience feelings of sadness, anger and loss after someone in your life dies; however, these feelings just happen when we lose someone special from our lives.

Be clear with yourself and others that you are grieving.

You may feel like you're grieving in private, but being honest with yourself will help others understand that you are experiencing a loss. If someone asks how your family member died, don't say "he died of cancer." Instead, say something like "He was diagnosed with cancer a year ago and passed away last week." This way people can better support your grief process by not assuming that you're OK when they see only half the truth about where things stand for now (and never would have been able to do so if they had known from the beginning).Ask for help from friends and family members who care about and want to help provide comfort during this difficult time of loss.

When you feel well enough, begin to express your feelings.

Now that you have come to terms with the loss of your loved one, it's time to begin expressing your feelings.


Be gentle with yourself as you grieve. There are many things we can do when grieving that will help us feel better:

  • Exercise regularly - physical activity has been shown in studies to reduce stress levels and boost feelings of wellbeing; I rode my bike everyday after my brother passed.

  • Get enough sleep - try scheduling regular bedtimes instead of staying up late watching TV or scrolling through social media;

  • Eat healthy foods - including plenty of fresh fruits and veget